Not long ago a wealthy man passed away in a neighboring town. The beautiful relics that he cherished dearly from his world travels were of no interest to his family. They became garbage the moment he died and now occupy space in the city landfill.
I have things I am no longer able to tend to, most of which has a story, a memory or a project. It is surprising how much emotion I’ve infused into things. Getting rid of so many things causes a disruption in my emotional comfort zone until I imagine myself in heaven watching someone else do it.
Woke up this morning very frightened by the pain of 3 broken ribs that happened while I was asleep. I was sure I’d be in a care center by evening if no relief was found. Relief was found and I am home.
Time for a soul assessment.
I have learned there is a hierarchy of emotions.
I have been confronted with large disappointments this week.
Hit with another boulder this afternoon and I couldn’t wait to give “a piece of my mind.”
Staring into the water fountain at the hospital entrance, “Why?” I pondered. “Why don’t I want to let go of this anger?” I felt that I needed to be angry.
Being angry felt like a relief. How peculiar. It was like falling into a well and grabbing onto anything to keep from hitting the bottom. Maybe I was grabbing onto anger to keep from going to a worse place.
That made sense when I looked up this scale of emotions (Ref: http://bit.ly/2k94pmS). Anger was healthier than the emotions I was fighting. Those five emotions were rock bottom on the list: Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness. How odd that anger could be considered beneficial.
Having trouble with reality.
Isn’t there a wardrobe hidden around here somewhere?
I would like to go back to Narnia.
Gratefulness changes everything.
Maybe not everything, but it does help sometimes.
I said good-bye to a friend today that I may not see again, or maybe not for a long time. It’s clear to me now and deeply comforting that no good-byes are final.