Missing the Ocean

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So tonight I AM the ocean. On my way to a costume party.

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I am the Hunter

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To the to the rolypoly and the other little bugs  I dug up to feed my spider. I became the hunter as far as those little beings are concerned.  I snatched them from their home, and will be responsible for their death by worst nightmare.

This is no different than if I was out hunting, or slaughtering a cow. A creature dies at my hands. Today I was providing for my spider buddy.

We comfort ourselves when someone dies that they have gone to a better place.

Thinking today about bug heaven. – Anne Carlson

 

 

Questions in the Trenches

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Thoughts come  in the trenches of the dark nights, as I fight to live with cancer.

My crystal ball is not always on line.  I seem to be able to hear the still small voice saying when to do laundry, but what about the big things?  Maybe I’m too scared to hear, maybe I am getting the message and my other thoughts are too loud, maybe I don’t like the answer I’m hearing.  Maybe I just don’t know.

But I am a selfish person.  When I breath in, I want as much air as my lungs can hold.  I want that 2nd piece of cheesecake to linger in the flavors of my mouth, to catch the joke so I can laugh heartily with the crowd.  I want to be part of the beautiful world, and I can’t do that when I am sulking, when I am angry and miserable.

So let us corral all the information we can and  make the best decisions we can.  When the regrets come, to shrug and say, I did the best that I could and move on. – Anne Carlson