Hospice: The Body is Ready, but the Mind is not.

I never had much regard for those that locked themselves in a fortress of their own fake world, refusing to face reality. but ah… Didn’t someone say the things you see in other people are the things that bug you most about yourself?

When there’s nothing left in that pot except reality, the fantasy, the pretending, the wishful thinking have boiled away, I feel like going to hospice is giving my consent to die.

This is taking way more courage that I wish it did. Its a decision I make alone. I’m in process.

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Found It

In case you’re wondering, I was rather stressed today, having spent a good part of it looking for 2 newly purchased, freshly cut, roast beef sandwiches.

I am pleased to announce that at 7:08 p.m. the mystery was solved. Items found in my bathtub, in a laundry basket.

I’ll spare you the explanation, but just so you know, there is one.

Home from the Hospital

They called it poly nephritis. Sent me home with oxygen and antibiotics; but hey, where’s that button for room service?

The Morning After

Sometimes I write something so profound I immediately want to share it with everyone I know.

Until I read it the next day,

then I’m glad I didn’t.

Bilingual Electronics

Amazon just brought me my new bluetooth. Thought I’d save a few bucks and get a knockoff brand. It’s suppose to tell me who is calling.

It does.

Problem is, my headset only speaks Chinese.

so sorry to hear about your cat

Conversation with my bro:

Today I had a PET scan.

A what?

Well, its kind of like a CAT scan.

Oh. So sorry to hear that.

What did the Vet say?

Sometimes it is

There are times when the waters feel particularly deep, and I carry on about “Ain’t it awful.”

You don’t need to cheer me up.

Just agree with me and say, “Yeah, sometimes it is.”

International Daughter’s Day

I would try to boss my mom around, commenting on how she ran the household, and she would say to me, “When you are a mother and have children of your own, you can do it any way you want,” and so from that time on, I began to plan what kind of mother I would be. I was 4 years old.

When that time came and the sonogram person said “It’s a girl,” I wanted a girl so badly I was afraid to believe it and didn’t want to face the disappointment in case she was wrong, but she wasn’t.

I am proud and humbled by how a tiny person could grow up and take the best of me and keep on going, growing into a person who has held onto her childhood joy, courage to weather the rightness of her heart, and a forgiving kindness that never stops. Oh and did I say hardworking, disciplined and a dedication to her business vision? And more.

Thank you Heavenly Father for the bright star, the delight, and the rain of blessings that came when you brought me my daughter, Brittany Carlson.

Midnight Dinner Guest

Cat food a al carte

Stepped onto the porch to freshen up the food and water bowl and discovered someone dropped by for a midnight snack. Ah ha! So that’s why we’re going through so much cat food.

Prayers & Blessings

To whomever it was praying for me today, ,

Thank you,

I felt it.