Dichotomy of the Heart

man in gray shit sitting on rock boulder
Photo by daffa rayhan zein on Pexels.com

I broke a promise made 22 months ago when told my disease has no cure. The love of my friends and family cushions me. Their devoted support sustains me, aware, that the tragedy of this diagnosis affects them as well.

Good news, the scan showed improvement from last  year.  Yippee!  It was the first time I let my guard down and allowed a little emotional respite. Skipping out of the center to celebrate in the parking lot on the phone with a few close people, including my children.  On the drive home I even entertained thoughts of new furniture for the living room.

But a storm cloud was already closing in.  Although things are better than a year ago, another test indicates cancer cells are on the increase. Wanting to shield my loved ones from the cruelty of the circumstance, I took the hit and carried the burden alone.  I told no one.

Dichotomy of the heart. –  Anne Carlson  –

 

 

 

 

I Believe

I believe in fairies; the ones that steel socks.

Photo

Photo by Anne Carlson

hoto by Anne Carlson

Confronted by my stockpile of orphaned socks, I have arrived at a conclusion.

I believe in fairies;  the ones that steel socks.  Jake, my native elder friend,  told me the Paiutes have a name for them.  If I remember correctly, they are called Moquitz*.

What are they doing with “my” socks? If they are making clothes out of them, surely I have clothed a village.

Why only one sock? Come to think of it, would I really notice if both were missing?  Such mysteries to contemplate while sorting socks.

–  Anne Carlson  –

(Moquitz-   Paiute friends please spot me on this.)