She Knows

to give the gift of saying thank you

We lost our Aunt Kay this month.

She reached out to me at age 13, when my mother died and gave me quality time. We would often talk about what it takes to be in charge of your own life. When I got sick, Aunt Kay spent several summers giving my daughter Brittany, what I could not and I am sure they had many similar conversations.

During a recent trip back home, we all spent an afternoon together and  I was able to explain to her how her gift of time and love had become a part of who I am. Even though I am saddened and will dearly miss her, I am not agonized by the pain of unsaid words. My heart is peaceful knowing that she knows.

Aunt Kaye IMG950151_1_1_1

I’ll take my problems, please

I’m okay with mine.

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My friend took her neighbor to a seminar full of seniors all facing dementia.  The exercises were less than dignified. The prognosis glum.  They haven’t really found much to  slow it down.

My heart is full of compassion.  I’m not here to question why who gets what.  Life gives us all challenges.

I’m okay with mine.

– Anne Carlson –

 

 

Is there ever a right time?

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A native friend of mine, years ago, stepped into the house and said, ” Today is a good day to die.”  I had never heard this common expression spoken among native warriors before.

Reflecting on the death of a friend whose body had worn down, dare I ask, is there ever a good day to leave?   Why not?  Does it have to be awful always? Can I resist the dark cloud of depression and let you go in love and respect. Can that be okay?

Can there ever be a day that is  the right time?

I wonder.

– Anne Carlson –

 

 

 

Maybe I am , Maybe I’m Not

A friend of mine died today.

railroad-1701738_960_720A friend of mine died today.  I’m okay.  Maybe I’m not okay.

I’d like to be alone. Now maybe I’d like some company. Maybe not a lot of company just a little. I don’t know how little.

Maybe I should call someone. No I can’t handle talking about that now. I can’t believe you said that. I can’t believe I said that. Maybe I should get off the phone.

Maybe I should wander through a store, in search for that perfect item to get my mind off things.  I can’t handle being around happy people, don’t they know someone just died today?  I better go home.

Thank you for saying you’re there for me.  Can you just figure out what I need and bring it over?

A friend of mine died today.

–  Anne Carlson  –