Hospice: The Body is Ready, but the Mind is not.

This is taking way more courage that I wish it did. ,,, I’m in process.

I never had much regard for those that locked themselves in a fortress of their own fake world, refusing to face reality. but ah… Didn’t someone say the things you see in other people are the things that bug you most about yourself?

When there’s nothing left in that pot except reality, the fantasy, the pretending, the wishful thinking have boiled away, I feel like going to hospice is giving my consent to die.

This is taking way more courage that I wish it did. Its a decision I make alone. I’m in process.


Politically Incorrect Feet

a chemo side effect?

Shortly after a shower, I still have stinky feet. My dilemma: Is this a chemo side effect? or Have I always had stinky feet, and because of the chemo, I can now smell them?

If it’s the latter, I sincerely apologize to all those I have ever unknowingly offended.

Kicked to the Curb by the Hospital

she was a special agent, undercover,

I found the perfect life. Last week, woke up in a corner office, prime real estate, with a grand view across the city. My staff was top notch, some even had RN on their name tag, that means Real Nice. They checked on me, brought me stuff, and ordered meals from the kitchen whenever I wanted. (Recommend the country gravy with green beans and meatloaf.)

My feet barely touched the floor, when one of those Real Nice people would come running to help.  They loved me, cared for me, clearly, I had found the perfect life. I put my few things into the dresser drawer and moved in.

It wasn’t but a few days after that. when I was just getting to know my way around, when this awful thing happened. They showed their true colors and kicked me out.  Bye-bye beautiful corner office with a great view. Can you believe they wouldn’t even let me take the furniture?

They were in such a hurry for me to leave the place, they shoved wheels under me, insisting I be personally ushered out by this woman guard. I could tell who she really was because of this special ESP gift, my feet tingle whenever something is wrong. At that moment both feet were tingling so badly they were almost numb, so I knew for sure, she was a special agent, just like the TV show I saw last night.  There was no other choice but to quietly comply.

Parading me through the corridors of shame, all of my meager possessions, including the toothpaste and the comb I stole from a package someone left in my room, reduced to a plastic bag and forced to carry on my lap. That undercover agent couldn’t stop smiling. How humiliating, but I knew underneath that perky little smile was really a smirk.

Kicked all the way to the curb, that smirky little agent refused to leave until I was in the car and the door was shut.  I don’t even know how I’m ever going to regain my composure after all that I went through.

So glad to be home, but I sure miss my staff.  Nobody even cares that I pooped in the potty this morning.


Funny tragedies

This afternoon my kitten managed not only to swipe my phone off the bathroom counter but with precise aim, to drown it in the toilet.
Sadly, I will be out of touch until I can get this figured out. 

Be on alert for this vicious phone destructor, surely her next path of destruction is already underway.

Being the Change

In response to the current toxic face book takeover of what used to be my daily mindless break of  funny cartoons, family snaps, lovers’ travels and what-I-had-for-dinner posts;  starting today, I have decided to take immediate action.

To be the change I want to see, courtesy of Momma Mia, my foster kitty, I will be taking it back by flooding my pages with kitten pictures.  If this gets to be too much cuteness, feel free to ignore and scroll on.

Since there are 5 black kittens and 2 white ones,  to avoid any misunderstanding, 71.43% of the pictures posted will be of black kittens and 28.57% of the pictures will be of white kittens.








Valentine Spy

Born on the day of love with a Valentine birthday, has its perks, but its one of my favorite days for an entirely different reason and that’s because I am a Valentine spy.

I lurk around the floral sections of  local supermarkets and wait for men.  I watch them as they awkwardly drift among the displays with the unachievable mission: to find a bouquet of flowers that represents appreciation for decades of devoted companionship, teamwork, and being his overall superwoman.  Every man in that flower shop has only one thing on his mind…


and that is, his woman and the hopes that she will know how much he loves her.

I’m not really a stalker, but I really do like the floral department on Valentine’s day.


The de-roar

Did you know a motorcycle is mentioned in the bible?  Well, it isn’t.

Someone on the internet said, “The roar of David’s Triumph was heard across the land,” was in the bible.  I thought it was cute so I posted it, but did a search to learn that it’s  fake news.  The lesson I learned, is it’s better to read the bible than read what someone says about the bible.

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My friend of 20 yrs is dying. We talked about it, we joked about it and together we faced the reality of it, but now its happening.

As the morning sky beams through my window, my mind wonders.  I think, today could be her last day, and my mind wonders some more.

I feel as if I am standing on the shore watching a ship slowly sail away.


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